1) When using your Flame Thrower, see if you have killed the opponent. If you have, get out a can of aerosol and a lighter. Lite it and inch closer to the deceased!
2) Every time one of your men die, get out an old type writer and start writing a letter to the deceased¡¯s family. It¡¯s always good to start with¡¦¡±Dear Mrs¡¦¡±
3) Get a recipe book (any will do fine!) and read aloud ¡°If the opposition should move here, then the book of Ultimate Commanding Strategies says that I should¡¦¡± If your opponent finally asks you ¡°That¡¯s a recipe book you moron!¡± Laugh out loud and say ¡°Simpleton Fool!¡± After a while, drop the book ¡°ACCIDENTLY¡± and make sure it lands on a page that has a picture of food on it.
4) At the beginning of you match, ask your opponent if you can have a rest cause the Transports were broke and they had to run here.
5) Come in Black Tucks and every time one of your men die, cry out and mourn for the deceased. Then get up and start telling your opponent about his life story from age 1 up wards. If the opponent should intrude, Gasp loudly and say ¡°Have some respect for the dead!!¡±
6) Get some rigged dices and play with them and if your opponent notices, just deny and out the rigged dices in your pockets and bring out the REAL dice!
7) Call out ¡°PINK ELEPHANT!!¡± and point behind him. Every time he turns around, Put in more of your units. Just keep denying!
8) If you win a Close Combat, remove the men from the table and stick them in a cage. Get two of your men and pretend to drag a POW from the cage. Put them on a table and pretend torture them. Tell them to ¡°REPENT! FOR THE EMPERORS SAKE REPENT!!¡± Have no eye contact with the opponent during any of this. When you are finished, look up at your opponent and look stunned. Throw a towel over the torture area and say,¡±You didn¡¯t see nothing! You get me!¡± (WORKS BET WITH DARK ANGELS)
9) Before starting the game, line all your men up in a single file and run to the nearest tap. Fill a cup of water up and spray water on your men and say that it is HOLY WATER. Start blessing every man. And its always good to ask where the Tap is before hand.
10) Every time one of your men die, yell out in a very strong Pidgin English accent, ¡°Oo! We Loading!!
11) Every five minutes, call a toilet break and when you come back accuse the opponent of cheating.
I know these aren¡¯t as funny as the other ones¡¦but I want you guys to add to them.
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THey hate me because I'm a Liberal Thinker! Someone who thinks outside the Square...Is that so bad?...I got banned from B&C for that...Cheap bastards!
